


͏Golf Bros

by JoesphIsAGeek



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: I LOVE THIS SHIP TOO MUCH, Multi, Small Homophobia, The other characters are there if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 03:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17154446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoesphIsAGeek/pseuds/JoesphIsAGeek
Summary: This takes place 2007-ish and no ones dead yay! p.s. Ram and Kurt are 6"





	͏Golf Bros

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place 2007-ish and no ones dead yay! p.s. Ram and Kurt are 6"

It was new day, JD’s boyfriends invited him out. Granted, they never told him what they were doing but he was happy to spend some time with them. Not like he hasn’t but it wasn’t too wholesome if you catch my drift. He got up and checked his phone, McNamara was blowing him up for some reason. When he got with Ram, she wanted to know more about who is dating her ex so they slowly became friends. Oddly enough, she was starting to become his favorite Heather.

 

{Macaroni Bitch}

Hey wake up

Hey wakey

Hey my gf noticed smth

I dunno how I should break this to u 

But, I think Ram’s cheating on u w/kurt

{JD}

This is gonna be hard to break it to you 

I have something to tell you 

{Macaroni Bitch}

????

What is it?

{JD}

I’m dating them both

{Macaroni Bitch}

Oh!

Like a mormon thing?

That’s hella cute!!!

Making u 3 prom kings uwu

{JD} 

I mean I guess you could call it that

Plus we are already kings, mac

 

He put his phone back and started getting ready for the day, he normally put on three layers of clothing but decided just to wear a shirt and his signature trenchcoat. He went downstairs to get some coffee then saw his dad at the coffee machine and groaned, he stopped on the third step hoping that he didn't hear him. He then heard his father’s voice coming from the kitchen.

“How’s my dear Gayson doing today?” Bud asked in an intrusive manner

“Dad, I told you not to call me that” JD said with an apathetic tone as he stayed upstairs 

“Why, pansy?” he mocked with the same shit-eating grin on his face.

“Cause you aren’t supposed know that I’m gay and it makes you sound like a dickwad.” He snarled

“I couldn’t help to hear you three. Sorry I have ears, Gay boy.” he chuckled, JD seemed bothered that he knew about it. 

“Fuck off” JD growled. 

“Love you too, son” he replied as he walked out the door. JD finally came down the stairs to the coffee machine. The coffee pitcher was empty, JD started grumbling swears at his father and saying things like “No wonder mom left your ass, I want to too”, he decided just to have some chocolate milk that his dad bought for him as a dumb joke. The joke formed when Bud came home from work, JD was watching a random live action show with two starcrossed lovers while he was reading. He sighed and chugged most of it down straight from the carton cause he didn’t feel like getting a cup. Then he started choking because he was startled. He was startled by a loud knock at the door, the person behind the door must of heard him choke because they started knocking in a panicked manner. He got up and opened the door and saw one of his dorky boyfriends, it was Ram. Ram immediately hugged him as if it was the last day he would ever see him. JD was swiftly swooped off his feet and was put back into that position where he couldn’t breathe so easily for the second time that day. “IWASSOWORRIEDITHOUGHTSOMEONEWASKILLINGYOUANDILOVEYOUTOOMUCH” Ram sounded incredibly stressed and worried about his boyfriend.

“Babe...I’m...Fine” JD said hoarsely, totally loving the attention.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to crush you” Ram let go of him and chuckled. He snuck a kiss on his cheek as he was letting him go, JD smiled. 

“So, what’s the plan for today? You two dorks didn’t tell me” JD crossed his arms and looked up at him with a smirk.

“Since you probably never go anywhere besides 7/11, we are taking you to somewhere great” he put a hand on his shoulder

“What is it?” JD asked 

“Golfing. Look, I know it’s a nerd thing but we gotta teach you” Ram patted him on the back,

“Why do we have to?” 

“Cause we love you and we want to hit other people’s balls” Ram explained the best he could.

“Kinky” JD got into the habit of making lame jokes since he hung out with the two jocks at school  
“Come on dude, we’re seniors now” Ram tried to stop himself from laughing. JD decided to fix the place up before he bailed, he put the milk carton back and heard his boyfriend say something. “Wow your dad is cruel” Ram looked at the empty coffee pitcher and sat next to it.  
“Tell me about it” JD rolled his eyes. Ram totally was not staring at JD’s ass when he was putting things away in the fridge and he totally did not absolutely love it when he had to bend down to put something away. After JD was done, Ram got off the counter and grabbed JD’s hand like a little kid in a store “Babe! Come on! I swear you’ll love this!” Ram tried to hype up something as lame as golf the best he could. They finally got outside and got inside Ram’s car, there was still no Kurt which was starting to worry JD a little bit since he cared about them both. 

“Ram?” JD looked at him while he fiddled around with a cigarette.

“Yeah?” Ram replied, totally speeding.

“Where’s Kurt?” JD asked. 

“He’s there already, he’s a dude that likes to be early yenno?” Ram shrugged and kept on speeding. JD didn’t mind Ram speeding since they had been together for at least two months now and he had been drove all over the place, beats being with his own father. He told Ram that they couldn’t go over to his place anymore since his dad knows about how they have ‘extremely gay loud makeout sessions’ and teases him for it, Ram completely understood since his dad was the same way. They talked about meaningless things, they talked about Mac since she loves to bud in to their relationship a lot. Hell, she was even texting JD. 

“Speak of the yellow devil, she’s texting me” He chuckled

“Mac is real clingy, I feel kinda bad for Ronnie” Ram shrugged, taking a small turn. 

“She’ll survive...probably” He took another puff out of his cigarette. They answered the texts Mac sent JD honestly, they had a good laugh reading them out loud. Then they finally got there, they saw Kurt waiting for them. He was totally zoning out so Ram honked at him at JD’s request. Kurt glared at them as they were totally losing it laughing. He walked over to the passenger’s seat, Ram had the doors unlocked since they were parked. Kurt opened the door and grabbed the poor unsuspecting JD from his seat and held him bridal style. 

“You ain’t walking today, handsome” Kurt looked at him dead in the eyes while he spoke. JD saw the perfect opportunity to make a joke. 

“Wait, we’re getting drunk?” JD jokingly asked, getting Kurt to smile a little bit. Ram jumped out of the car and ran to them, he gave Kurt a little head nod. JD was confused ‘This is new’ he thought to himself and waited what they were gonna do. The both looked at him and gave a small smirk, he was still confused on what they were doing. Then they started kissing him, Kurt kissing his face and Ram kissing his neck. He loved every minute of it, he’d scare them all the time if this is what they’d do. All they really did was make worried mothers shield their children’s eyes from them. After they were done, Kurt let him down and let him walk. JD’s messy hair was even more messy after they kissed him.

“Learned your lesson, pretty boy?” Kurt asked proudly.

“Nope, looks like you have to do it again.” JD mocked, it was his speciality to be a smartass. They caught that he didn’t get embarrassed like they wanted him to. 

They walked up to the place where you’d buy the clubs and balls then they saw a familiar face. A chubby girl with glasses and a ponytail was working the cashier station. Kurt and Ram didn’t really talk to Martha except when they ask for empty sparkling cider bottles so they can sneak booze in it. JD talked to her a lot since they both hate being in the crowd, hell, she watches his hamster when his dad’s in a destructive mood. The two boys vaguely recognized her but stayed silent. JD went in front, Martha was putting snacks backup since the wind knocked them over. The prices for adults was $6 each and the prices for children was $5 each, so not too hard on ye old wallet. 

“Hey, Unicorns” JD spoke, Martha recognized that nickname that he gave her and turned around. She was happy to see him. 

“Hey, stranger! What can I do for ya?” She asked in a cheery tone.    

“Three...” He paused and looked at his boyfriends which had their elbows on the table and were staring back at him confused, Martha was holding in her laughter so they wouldn’t get mad “Somewhat adults for a one person game”

“Alright that’ll be $18 or should I say $16?” Martha joked back, JD snickered getting the joke while his boyfriends had to look at the board stating the prices for a hot minute before realizing the joke. JD was about to pay out of his pocket but then Kurt stopped him and paid it himself. “Have fun guys!” Martha waved to them. They walked over to the balls and clubs, Ram got a light blue ball, Kurt got a blue ball and JD settled for a white ball. They all got clubs and the scorecard and raced over to the 1st course. JD looked at the couples there and watched how they putted. Ram nudged him, he looked over and saw a sign. The sign said ‘Please Use a Hard 7’. 

“Sorry babe, you are just gonna have to use a hard 10” Kurt smirked at him “Yeah yeah, I’m used to it.” JD was fast with comebacks. Ram scoffed.

“How about a hard 20, darlin?” Ram grabbed his collar gently, he raised his brows and smirked at his tiny boyfriend.

“Now you're talking" he clicked his tongue. They snickered, people started to stare at them so they decided to finally play. Kurt and Ram huddled up, JD didn't really mind it at this point, it just means that they are gonna do something gay. Ram walked towards him, he was behind him, giving him a hug.

“Babe, you need someone to teach you before you can just play” he spoke in his ear, he knew that whispering made JD blush. 

“Guess I do" JD was definitely caught off guard, you could tell by his tone. JD put down his ball and Ram didn't move an inch away. JD shot back up, Ram grabbed his wrists, will Ram actually teach JD how to golf? Probably not. 

“Now, don't hit it too hard" Ram managed to make that sound seductive. JD hit the ball so they wouldn't get kicked out because of a certain someone's flirting, he got close to the hole but missed it by an inch. He walked to the sidewalk and waited for his boyfriends. 

“Jesse James? Since when do you go outside?” a voice said in a hurtful tone, it sounded feminine and mythic. JD turned around and met face to face with her.

“Red bitch? Since when do you go anywhere without your traffic light posse?” JD countered in the same hurtful tone.

“Look, Veronica and Heather are busy sucking face and I'm left with that green asshole” she groaned, pointing at a Duke that was beating her ass at golf. 

“She's beating you” JD said, more for himself.

“I know!” Heather shouted at him “This is so abusive” she pouted and crossed her arms and went back to her own game. JD rolled his eyes, Kurt walked over and noticed Heather.

“What did she want?” Kurt asked and motioned to her.

“To whine? I have no clue” JD shrugged

“She’s like a toddler compared to us, yenno?” Kurt patted him on the back

“She’s one year younger than us” JD looked at him a little bit confused. 

“Same difference” Kurt shrugged. Ram walked over to them and turned to JD, he took his turn and got it in. They played the whole Eighteen holes, Kurt was taking score. He sighed and patted Ram on the back.

“Good job, bro. You won" Kurt sighed, JD grabbed the scorecard. It specified on the back that whoever had the least amount of strokes won.

“Actually, I won" JD spoke up and showed them the back of the scorecard.

“You didn't let me finish.” Kurt cleared his throat and turned to Ram. “Good job, bro. You won at being the worst at mini golf!" Kurt patted Ram on the back, JD snickered. 

“Looks like I'm amazing at sports" JD boasted. JD may hate his father but he can boast like him.

“Puh-Lease! Golf is a nerd sport!” Ram groaned. Ram was known for being a sore loser.

“It's still a sport broski” Kurt teased as he put an arm around JD. Ram sighed and thought of a way to redeem his loss. 

“Race you two nerds to the car.” Ram said as he got a head start to his own race. Kurt and JD got an idea, Kurt gave JD a piggyback ride. Ram still won since he got a head start 

“I'm still undefeated!” Ram said that, being incredibly humble. Kurt nearly collapsed when he got there since he carried Jason ‘I wear a trenchcoat during the summertime’ Dean the whole time. 

“Look, how about us bros all get icecream” Kurt said as he put his arms around both his boyfriends. 

“Sounds like a good plan" JD agreed. 

“We forgot something, Kurt" Ram turned to Kurt worriedly.

“Whatyya mean bro?” Kurt asked, looking at him. 

“We forgot to say no homo!” Ram sounded shocked and disappointed.

“Isn't it implied at this point?” JD asked.


End file.
